The Greatest Thing To Happen To Beer Since Ice
In all of recorded history, the three defining inventions in the evolution of the modern man are:
- which we use to grill food and impress the ladies
- The Wheel
- which puts Hemi power to the ground, and
- which ... well, trust me, it was pretty important. (They used it to design the Hemi, for instance.)
And now ... The Kegmobile.
Let me tell you about John. When he was in the Army, his unit was sent to Nicaragua. One night four of them were playing cards outside their tent, and one of his men reached for what he thought was an extension cord. Turns out it was a black snake, about eight feet long. And it didn't like being grabbed.
They pried the snake's mouth off his arm and rushed him to the medic, who said, "We can't treat him if we don't know what kind of snake it was." So John handed it to him. Yes, he brought the snake, just in case.
What does this have to do with beer? Nothing, really. But it establishes John's guy-cred.
You wish you had his job
So now he's a beer distributor. Which means he's around professional grade barware every day. He knows what it takes to serve beer, is what I'm saying.
And like you might expect, he's got a really sweet setup in his house: keg fridge, CO2 canister, nice faucet, the works. But if he went fifty yards from his back door into the neighborhood park, he was stuck using exactly the same tub-of-ice-and-a-rented-tap setup you see at every frat party in the country.
That changed this year, when he decided to go mobile.
The result is a thing of such genius, such simplicity, that it approaches perfection.
Show the world you mean business
Five seconds after you saw the picture, you knew you wanted it. More important, you want to be the guy who shows up at a party with it.
Remember when Mike down the street brought home the new Hemi? And everyone stood there looking under the hood? "Wow, Mike, that's awesome! I wish I could be as manly as you are."
Now you will be the one bringing the awsome. It's beer. And ice. On wheels! Are you kidding me?
Then you'll casually tell them, "Oh, this? Yeah, built it myself." Men will want to be you. Women will want to have you.
Or ... you're wondering what's the big deal? Maybe you don't recognize awesome when it walks up and punches you in the face. If that's you, if you don't get it ... well, thanks for dropping by. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go talk to the guys.
Still here? Okay, so listen up.
How to get permission
You know you want it. I know you want it. But someone needs some convincing. Here's what you tell them.
- With what you save buying kegs instead of bottles, the kit can pay for itself the third time you use it$75 per keg (domestic)
vs. 28 6-packs at $5 each
total of $140
- Professional-grade fittings mean you'll never have to buy this kit again. You might wear out the can, but the fittings can be moved to a new one in minutes.
- Enclosing the keg helps keep it cooler, longer, with less ice. So the last beer you pour is just as good as the first one. No more waste!
- One kit works for everything: sixth-barrel, pony keg (quarter-barrel), full keg (half-barrel). So you can use it at small parties, too.
Here's what you get
You'll get everything you need to make the Kegmobile except the trash can and the CO2 tank. (You don't even want to know what it would cost to ship those.) That means:
- Faucet -- the handle and spigot for the outside of the can
- Coupler -- the tap for the top of the keg
- CO2 Regulator -- for balancing the CO2 and keeping track of your pressure
- Shank -- mounts the faucet to the can
- Hoses and clamps -- for connecting the CO2, engagement and faucet
- Pipe, nuts, washers -- for mounting the faucet and drain
- Drain -- for emptying out the water when you're done
- Illustrated instructions (No, we don't send you the girl.)
How much awesome do you want?
- $189.95 -- Rookie
- Everything you need to turn an ordinary trash can into the ultimate tailgating accessory. Make an impression at your very first appearance.
- $229.95 -- Veteran
- Durable and tested, the veteran is the one you want when you're making a run for the playoffs and it's put up or shut up time. Everything you get when you sign the rookie, plus a stainless steel faucet, coupler and shank. Unless you're friends with a gorilla, this setup will take all the abuse you can dish out.
Don't be a follower, be a leader
Every time John shows up with his Kegmobile, at least three guys ask about making their own. If you wait on this, there's a good chance someone you know will go first. And who wants to be the second guy on the block to get one?
We guarantee this is the most awsome way to bring beer to a party that doesn't involve girls in matching outfits and beer logos.